Autistic POV

An Autistic POV on the Benefits of Freewriting EP 2

An autistic perspective on freewriting and how it can help us improve creativity, explore identity, and even improve physical and emotional health. This episode was a bit of an experiment. While it was fun sharing information, future episodes will be more conversation and based mostly on my personal experience (as opposed to research). I wanted to share the following resources that I used to prep for this episode:
Psychological Benefits of Free Writing.
Therapeutic Journaling PDF
I also referred to Expressive Writing by James W. Pennebaker and John Frank Evans. And Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. Both should be available from your local library or elsewhere via interlibrary loan. #autism #creativity
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Episode Transcript
0:03
Welcome to Autistic POV. My name is Barbara Graver. I am a late diagnosed autistic, and I hope you'll join me as we talk about life, identity, and self-acceptance from an autistic point of view. Today, I wanted to talk about free writing. And free writing is to essentially just start writing and to keep writing.
0:29
And it's a stream of consciousness thing where you jot down whatever comes into your head. And one of the reasons I want to talk about this is because I'm doing it right now. And I've been toying with the idea of writing like an autism memoir for a long time, and it's very hard for me to do.
0:46
So I thought maybe the free writing would help. And I think it is. It's early days, but I think it is. So the main things I wanted to cover about free writing, I have three points I'd like to make about free writing. And I do have references for each of these.
1:01
Those will be in the show notes because this is a short podcast. I'm not going to be taking a real deep dive. So if you want to learn more, I'm going to give you the references that I used and hopefully they would answer
1:13
some of your questions or at least get you started on your own research if this resonates. So the first, the three topics I want to talk about are free writing and increased creativity. Free writing as a way to explore identity and and free writing and the potential for healing.
1:32
And you could do a whole podcast probably on each of these, but I just want to give a little bit of an overview. So increased creativity. There was a study that was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology on free writing and creativity. I actually couldn't read the study because it was paywalled,
1:51
but I did find a website that talked about it. So that's what I'll be linking to in the description. But the gist of it is that the study showed that people who did free writing had increased innovation and creativity. And this is something that I think a lot of people already know.
2:09
I mean, there's the artist's way, there's various things about journaling and how it helps. But I think a lot of people haven't actually tried it. I mean, we know it'll probably work, but we don't really want to put the time in. And that's understandable. I mean, I kind of feel that way too.
2:26
So one of the things I've done is I've limited it to 20 minutes. I have a timer and I recommend, I love my timer. I have a timer that when you turn it, it's actually, I'm not sure how to describe this, but as you turn it, it's a colored timer.
2:43
It shows a colored wedge of how much time you have left. So every time you look at it, you could see that time going down. And it's very helpful. I find it very helpful. So one of the strategies is to just do a set amount of time. And with free writing,
2:59
a lot of times people think free writing is just writing whatever comes into your head. And it's not necessarily. You can pick a topic. Particularly if you're, and we'll discuss a couple different kinds of topics, but if you're dealing with a creative issue, you could start writing something about that, definitely.
3:18
Or, you know, you could write something unrelated and just see what kind of pops in. And autistic people tend to be very, very creative. But we also tend to have a lot of issues around creativity. And I'm going to talk about that, just that, in another episode. But I think if you're autistic, you're probably creative.
3:39
And if you're autistic and creative, you probably already know this. And we can get in a loop with our creativity. And there are a lot of negative things that could come in, like perfectionism and self-censoring and judging ourselves that can really get us all tangled up. Or at least that's been my experience with writing.
4:02
Been writing all my life, but I've never published anything. I've rarely even showed my writing to people. And so it's not surprising that we have reservations and feel conflicted. And I think that journaling can be a way to recover from this. It's a way that we can kind of regain our center with our creativity.
4:25
And if you've read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, she was essentially in creative burnout when she started the process. So it helped her, and it's helped a lot of people. But also what I find with journaling, and I also use dreams this way, but just sticking with journaling,
4:44
is that I get ideas when I journal, even when I'm not journaling about my writing or about my work. And this is why with free writing, you can pick any topic or no topic. And whatever you pick, it's very likely that while you're doing it, because you're in kind of a flow state,
5:03
That something will just pop in. It's kind of like the way you get ideas when you're in the shower, except you're writing. So you just write it down. You just add it in. That's what I do. Like I'll be writing about an experience or I'll pick a topic.
5:17
of some kind and all of a sudden an idea pops in and I just include that, put a little asterisk by it and I come back to it. So that is one way and it is a proven way. It's evidence-based way to increase creativity and innovation and you do not have to write about your project.
5:34
You can write about whatever you want and you'll still get that effect. So that's the first one, increased creativity. That's the first benefit. The second one is that free writing can be a way to explore identity. You just write about anything, and it could be experience that pertains to identity, certainly. It could be your special interests.
5:56
A lot of us, we get our identity from our special interests. So this is something we can explore. One of my special interest going all the way back to childhood was vampires. I was always very interested in vampires and gothic fiction. And I could trace this all the way back,
6:13
like I grew up in the 60s and 70s, so I could trace this all the way back to the TV show Dark Shadows and the main character Angelique. And there were reasons why At that point in my life, I identified with this.
6:27
And through the free writing, I could see why grade school was very, very hard for me. And there was a reason why a powerful, beautiful, exotic witch like Angelique would appeal to me and why the whole world of Collinwood and stuff was kind of escaped from me.
6:46
So the same thing with books, like along that line, I always like gothic fiction. So this is a way that we shape our identity because oftentimes our special interests kind of become our identity. And this is something that happens with neurotypicals too. Somebody will be like their job, like they're a lawyer. That's who they are.
7:06
For us, it might be we have a certain interest and there's nothing wrong with that. Tony Atwood in his book on Asperger's, which I'll also link to, kind of like an old book, a little out of date, but still he makes some good points, I think.
7:21
And one thing he says about Asperger's, I always want to make that a B, is that identity is an issue. Identity is an issue for autistics. It just is. We don't have that strong sense of central coherence that neurotypicals have. So we spend a lot of our life
7:42
trying to figure out who we are and define who we are and feel secure in who we are. And it can be a really difficult journey. And this is another thing we should do a whole episode on, so I don't want to go too into it. But we can explore this through our writing.
7:58
We can explore what our identity is, how it was shaped, what we want our identity to be. And again, we don't have to necessarily set up. set out to talk about these topics. Like I was writing about an incident that happened to me in grade school, which I'll talk more about in our next point.
8:16
And I got a clear sense of how my identity formed from this. So that could be very helpful. But I think the main thing about free writing and identity is it's learning about who we are and how we became that person. And it can be about who we want to be and changes we want to make.
8:34
But I think it's more lends itself to actually discovering who we are. And we tend to think of ourselves as odd or weird or, you know, and sometimes we need to understand the process. Like, is it weird to be interested in vampires? Not so much now, but when I was younger, definitely. And yet,
8:55
when you see how that happened and why, it just goes a long way to kind of incorporating that and feeling good about it. So I think that's another great example great way that free writing can help us. And the third way is the potential for healing. And this is kind of what I'm doing now.
9:14
I got this book, Expressive Writing by, I think it's James Pennybaker. Again, I'll put a link to this in the show notes. But Pennybaker is an experimental psychologist. So it's kind of interesting he wrote this book because he doesn't work with clients or help people change their lives and stuff.
9:35
And yet he did this experiment that was exactly about that. And what he did is he had people write for 15 minutes, I think it was, I do 20, but 15 minutes on a difficult topic. It doesn't have to be major trauma. Like, I'm not even really sure it should be major trauma, but it could be.
9:54
But it could be something like, for me, like incidents of bullying I kind of focused on. And so you're writing about that for 15 minutes a day, and you might actually feel worse afterwards. But over the long run, he found, and this again is evidence-based study,
10:13
he found that people who did this for even 15 minutes four days in a row on a topic that they considered difficult or traumatic or dark or disturbing or whatever, had actually better health afterwards. These people went to the doctor less. And he did this study with college students.
10:35
So these were people who were really only going to the doctor because they had a cold or flu or respiratory infection. You know, they weren't really going to the doctor to have their blood pressure checked or things like this. So this was a clear measure of their health, and their health actually improved.
10:51
And there have been multiple studies since then that have supported this, that it has a benefit on people's immune system and on their psychological well-being and ultimately on their health. So there's, again, evidence-based reason why this can be helpful for you. And my experience, I had a really,
11:15
really hard time in grade school and in high school in a different way. But in grade school in particular, there was one incident in particular that I never told anyone about. Actually, probably several incidences I've never told anybody about. But this was like a really hurtful thing.
11:34
Like this is one of maybe three incidences, but it affected me. Even like in seventh grade, I remember all of seventh grade as being overcast. And I don't think it really was, but that was my mindset. I was depressed. This really threw me. So I've never told anyone about this. I don't even like to think about it.
11:55
I don't even like to admit that it happened. But I decided that's what I would start. I picked like one of the harder things. It's probably not on the trauma scale, the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me. But for whatever reason, constellation of reasons, it affected me quite a bit.
12:11
So it was essentially bullying, I would say. And I wrote about that. And as I did, I discovered, like I mentioned earlier, like why I got so fixated on Dark Shadows and Angelique and why this I'm still writing vampire fiction today. I still like it. If I find anything with vampires in it, I'll check it out.
12:34
Even if it's crappy, I'll check it out. And I love paranormal fiction. I read all kinds of fiction, but I especially like paranormal. So I understood this and I found this like very, very helpful. It helped me like kind of integrate this. And so to me, that's healing when you integrate something. It's healing.
12:55
So I think that whether I'll be physically healthier because of this, I don't know. But I kind of think if I keep doing it, I will be. I think there's a reason why the study that Pennebaker and others did turn out the way they did. I think this is a very healthy thing to do.
13:12
And I mean, there are cautions, like he even says in the book. And I'll link to the book, Expressive Writing, because... I think it's good to have a guide when you're doing this. Like, I wouldn't say just go ahead and do it. I would say at least read Pennebaker's book.
13:27
But he gives various cautions in it, which I think are good to know. But if it makes you feel really bad or really depressed, obviously you stop. I mean, that's like with any of this stuff, it's going to help maybe most people or the majority of people, but some people it's not going to help at all.
13:44
And some people it's even going to be detrimental. So you definitely want to use your own feelings as a guide to this. It's normal to feel a little bit down like immediately after, but if that sticks, if you don't come back up, if you don't feel like you're integrating things and feeling better,
14:02
then you probably want to avoid it. And again, with me, I started out with a situation that was damaging to me, but not the most traumatic thing I ever, that ever happened to me because I don't feel like I'm really want to go there right now.
14:18
So I would definitely say be cautious with it because it is a powerful tool that can help you with your creativity, And in defining your identity and accepting your identity, a lot of us have a certain identity, but we find it hard to accept because of feedback we get from other people.
14:38
And sometimes understanding how that formed and why helps us see this is kind of a natural thing. I see how this happened. Could be just your nature, certainly. But there could be things that have either made you that person or made you feel conflicted about being that person.
14:56
So identifying this stuff, it really does kind of neutralize it. It helps to neutralize it. So these are my three topics on free writing. There's certainly a lot more to say about free writing, and maybe we could revisit it at some point. I mean, I'm just starting with it.
15:14
But again, the three things are increasing creativity, and this is evidence-based exploring identity. I couldn't really find a study on this, but I know it's helpful for me personally, and the potential for healing. So I will include the resources for this in in the show notes. And I hope that this could be helpful for you.
15:37
Try it, but be aware that it does have the potential to be triggering. So if that happens, back away from it. Talk to somebody if you need to, certainly. But I think for most people it's a good tool. So that's it for today, and I hope to see you next time.
15:52
Please consider following the show if you're interested in this content. And definitely, if you like it and you know someone who might benefit from it or be interested, please, please feel free to share. That's the best thing you could do for anyone who does this stuff is to share their material. But only if you think someone's interested.
16:12
So I will see you guys next time. And until then, this is Barbara Graver. And thank you for listening!
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Theme music by Caffeine Creek
 

Autistic POV Intro, My Autism Diagnosis & Caveats EP 1

A bit about my autism diagnosis and my plans for my podcast, Autistic POV. I hope you'll check back and, if you're able, please consider following the show. This episode includes a few important caveats for the show, including my target audience. I'm planning on airing new episodes about twice a month. I do hope you'll check back!  #autism #late-diagnosis
If you like this content, please follow and / or share!
Episode Transcript
(If your podcast provider cuts off the transcript, you can read the full transcript by viewing this episode at AutisticPOV.com.)
0:03
Welcome to Autistic POV. My name is Barbara Graver. I am a late diagnosed autistic and I hope you'll join me as we talk about life, identity, and self-acceptance from an autistic point of view.
0:18
Hi everybody, this is Barbara Graver and today I'd just like to share a little bit about what I'll be doing on the podcast and what I have planned going forward. And this is kind of hard for me a little bit because it's my first time really talking about autism in public.
0:39
And it's funny because I could talk about a lot of things online and have--personal spiritual experience, my work, my feelings, you know, personal stuff. But I've never really talked about this. So it's new. It's a little bit threatening, but I'm going to go ahead and try it.
0:58
So, part of the reason I think it's a challenge for me is because I wasn't diagnosed until 2022, which means that I've been kind of trying to fit into a world that I could never be totally comfortable with for decades. And it was a lot to process.
1:18
It kind of cast my whole history and experience in a new light. And it took me a while to To sort of get a handle on that, I mean, honestly, I wouldn't say that I have necessarily got a handle on it, but I think I've made progress.
1:36
So I got diagnosed in April of 2022, and now it's two years later, and it just so happened that Some of the issues I've been having lately with my writing kind of peaked and I thought, kind of like Joanna Penn says, maybe I should create the kind of content I need to hear.
1:57
So I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder one. I was diagnosed by psychologists and autism spectrum disorder one is what used to be called Asperger's and to me it's sort of like the walking wounded version of autism people can function in society
2:17
more or less but there's cost to that or at least there has been for me there's been a cost and that cost has actually been pretty high I would say across the board but I do have mixed feelings about honestly about about talking about the challenges of autism. And part of the reason for this, I think,
2:39
is because I've known people, known a couple moms who've had nonverbal autistic children. So sharing that same diagnosis is weird to me. I wish they'd kept Asperger's, honestly, but they didn't. So this is the terminology we have. And I'm going to use it with the understanding that most of the stuff I talk about
2:59
in this podcast is probably going to be pretty autism spectrum disorder one specific, because that's what I know. And even within that demographic, I know there are a lot of differences in the way people process things. So I don't know if what I say is going to make sense to you necessarily, but
3:19
But I think that's always the way. And I think all we can really do is try. So I guess those are my caveats. But for me personally, my initial evaluation for autism was really comprehensive. And there was a lot of cognitive. I received a lot of cognitive information as part of that.
3:42
And I know not everybody can do the evaluation, but I think for anyone who can, it's worth it because a good evaluation will give you a wealth of information about your mind and the way you think. It's not just about checking the autism box. It's about everything else you learn. And, you know,
4:01
one of the things I learned was that there was a cognitive split, which is not uncommon with autism. And I think that's part of the reason why I find constructing novels and staying in my lane genre-wise kind of a challenge. but there's a lot more I want to learn about this and share.
4:20
I don't, this is just the introduction. I don't want to try to go into everything, but, but there are a lot of issues and they're different for different people. Also, there are a lot of really good resources out there and I'd like to share some of them.
4:34
And I think doing the podcast to kind of keep me a little bit on track with that. As far as the format for the show goes, um, Interviews are hard for me. I've been active online for a while. I have a kind of successful blog, mysticreview.com, and I've done a lot of media around that.
4:54
And I can do both sides of interview if I have to, but I do find it stressful. So I'm presently undecided about the interviews. I do definitely want to share information, but this might be in the form of a review or a resource or a topic or aspect of my own experience. But we'll see.
5:16
I'm not closing the door to interviews. I'm just saying that I'm not sure. And it's kind of like to me when I undertook the journey of to understand the psychic dreams and psychic experiences I was having all the way back in 2010. When I chose to undertake that journey, I felt very isolated and very alone.
5:40
And that's when I started the Mystic Review because I wanted to take other people with me. I wanted to share that with other people. And I did. So that's it. That's my intro. So please consider following the show if you're interested in this kind of content and checking back. And I hope to see you next time
6:02
And so until then, this is Barbara Graver, and I hope to catch up with you again soon!
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Theme music by Caffeine Creek